The Graduates

Make a photobook - it's easy!

6th March, 08 - Telecom Batch of 2003-04, Graduates

Karachi Wildlife

All in a days work for Aj, risking his life everyday, with countless cheels hovering over him and shooting past him.... alllll done to take some ruddy pictures of a telecom tower! A normal working day becomes an adventure ....

Note: Picture taken by Aj. himself

Lemon Chicken Rice

... with macroni and fruit cream salad and tomato-pineapple sauce! :D
Another weekend, another dish :)

Just Desserts

Satisfying the sugar-witch inside me, dieting's... not going too good :P

Nuclear waste .. heh, Coffee cream dessert

Chocolate Eclairs

Weekend Cooking

The woman in me is waking up and I am actually enjoying weekend cookings with Sabbi... :)

Baked Chicken Chilli Pasta

New Year's Resolutions

Resolutions set for Sana F. :

"Thou shalt lose weight"

"Thou shalt learn how to drive"

"Thou shalt start praying and be thankful for all the good things in life"

"Thou shalt apply for USA visa"

"Thou shalt get a job"

"Thou shalt talk less, listen more"

"Thou shalt be a better friend and person"

"Thou shalt do something daring with hair :P"

"Thou shalt do all these things"

Note: Yes, I am referring to myself in second person.

Seasons In the Sun

There are only three kinds of seasons here in Karachi - summer, light summer and extreme summer. No winter, nor Spring, nor Autumn. Well, actually, winter's when your ice-cream doesn't melt within 45 secs of purchase. Autumn is when you see a few dried leaves scattered here and there. And spring...well, you almost never truly notice spring. Here, seasons are either categorized by the calendar or by a few visual traits. You don't truly feel them. They're almost always too hot. Evenings and nights are quite pleasant though, with frequent cool breezes. If you notice the change, each season has its own charm.

There are plenty of things that you can enjoy during Summer as well. Nothing feels better than a cold, fruity drink and a dip in the pool when it's 46 degrees out (that's Celsius, mind you). A picnic on the beach feels great too - it is a weird combination of the sun warming your head and water cooling your feet. Personally, I like the beach most when it's clouded and windy. I guess water sports are the best way to cool off on a hot summer day. As a kid, the only reason why I liked summer was because we would get summer vacations, allowing me to come to Karachi and meet all my cousins, as well as go on picnics. Now we live in Karachi and everyone is so busy with their life that we don't get to hang out as much as we used to. Basically, I don't enjoy summers too much. The heat gets to me bad.

Perhaps it's the little girl in me, but I love stomping on the dry leaves in Autumn. The whole look of the orange, almost falling, leaves is awesome. And raking the lawn with slight wind blowing has its own charm. I'd love to capture that scene on film, but as I said, Karachi almost never has that.

Spring...flowers! So many of them, everywhere! Roses, pansies, DAFFODILS! I love daffodils - from their appearance to their smell! Pansies are funny looking. They're fun to play with too - dog flowers, as we sometimes call them. Roses. Honestly, I don't like roses all that much. But I like them in groups, and these certain kinds that get this awesome color, not the conventional red, white, etc., but a bouquet of red and white roses is just so princess like! :$ Heh. Dragonflies, butterflies, good cool weather, colorful flowers and their fragrance, etc. - all the things are what make this season so nice. However, I never thought that spring had a romantic touch to it. That'd probably be autumn or winter for me.

Winter. Loveee winter! The good thing about me is I feel the same amount of cold, whether it's 4 degrees or -14. It's weird, but that is how it is! So one warm jacket or my potato sack sweater, a pair of jeans and socks are all I need to keep me warm - hot chocolate too maybe, but that's besides the point. :p Winter has this very cozy feel to it, for me at least. I love snow! The last time I saw real snow was 5 years ago perhaps, when we were in Quetta. That wasn't too much. You would see snow-capped mountains, but not much snow on ground around you. Winters are best for that cuddly feeling and sweet romantic moments, in my opinion.

It can be any season, but rain, clouds and wind, and you have the best weather! I have some problems with the rain, but that is only because of the decorum that has to be maintained while being a girl out in the rain in public. I just love watching it and enjoying it as much as I can, in whatever way, which usually means jeans and a T-shirt and being near home. :P Karachi is so not equipped to handle large amounts of rain, and hence, it becomes a big nuisance! But in Punjab, even after days and days of rain, it's unusual to see any stagnant banks of water on the roads. Heh, for some reason, our house always used to leak, so that sucked :P.. And the light!....

More than rain, I enjoy the scene of lush green trees swaying with a strong breeze against a dark gray cloudy sky!

Ever felt that you can smell the season or a change in it? I have. In Punjab, you can see and feel the change in every season. Each has this specific smell! It's hard to explain, but it's like I would wake up in morning and almost feel it - it's in the smell of air that surrounds you. I know, I know, seasonal changes aren't so abrupt that you wake one morning and whoosh! It's winter... But it's hard to explain. Summers and Springs - I could Smell both. It's an amazing feeling that fills up the senses in this wonderful way. I miss that. I miss a lot of things about most of the places that I got to live in.

Seasons come and go, its like an 'endless' cycle. So in the spirit of that, I wont give this post an ending. Tada, hah!

*Winter and Autumn Picture by T.H*

Inner Monologue

*Click*
Tuned-in to Channel Sanapple

"Is it a phase?"
I have been asked that so many times on so many occasions.

"Ohhh, photography? Is it a PHASE?"
"Ohhh, so you're cooking these days. Is it a PHASE?"
"Ohhh, so you've been reading a lot lately. Is it a PHASE?"
"Ohhh, so you're feeling down. MUST be a PHASE!"

The answer? Hmm...probably

Sudden impulse, sudden wish for doing something, sudden mood changes - all about "just a phase". For the longest time, Sabz and I have had these heart-to-heart conversations, going from topic to topic, trying to explain the unexplainable, trying to find the reasons behind the things we do or don't, why we have these extreme ups and extreme downs, why for no reason at all we feel high...

The answer: Just a PHASE.

After-thought: It'll pass...

Does it? Usually does.

Who doesn't need a break from a monotonous routine? Who wouldn't want to spend time doing something constructive, something creative, something they absolutely love? A lazy bum like me, that's who.

Is there a "passion" in life? Some kind of pursuit? Something you're chasing after? Some kind of goal? For me, not really.

Sad? Very! When's the time to change? Right about now. Want to take life as it comes or make it what you wish it to be? I'm wishing for latter, but working at the former.

My point? It sucks.

The solution that comes to mind? Find a passion, find a reason, a purpose, fire - anything! CHANGE!

Do I welcome a change?

Usually, I am quite adaptive to my surroundings. (Greatest advantage of spending 20 years in an army environment.)

But do I welcome it?
"It depends...Sometimes….”

Does it take time? Not really.

What if you don't want that particular change? Uh-oh.

Sometimes I want change. I want something that can make me go "oooh" or something that'll excite me! I love my friends, past and present, but I want to meet new people. Change my circle, explore new ones. I need a change of place too. That change is, I think, due to the constant movement associated with my dad being in the army. So I guess wanting that kind of change has become a part of me. I still don’t want to go back to that life - I'm not really equipped for it. We shifted from Malir to Defence. The shift - the moving - the change - I like. But this is on rent, so we want to get a house of our own. That'll be something new - more shifting - another change. It's something that's waiting for me in next 2 or 3 years - I like. Changing feelings? They're unexpected, but controllable? Maybe, but sometimes you just need to let nature take its course. Some things should be just left to the decision of fate. *read* - ’some’ things – ’few’ things!

Everyone's fate has been decided - agreed, but nowhere does it say that you have to sit in wait for fate to play its next move. Be in charge! Give it your full. If it still doesn't pan out, then maybe it's "not meant to be". Let go...

I don't let go of things. I don't rest until the matter is resolved. I don't rest until my questions have been answered, until the curiosity has been satisfied. Do I make a fool out of myself in the process? You have no idea! Is it a phase?

Let's define 'phase'. Something temporary? Something that'll pass? Something you won't give much importance to after its particular time is over. How long is the time? One week? Two? A month? A year? That is where the trouble starts. How long are you willing to let it be just a phase? If it's been there with you for as long as you can remember, yet from day 1 you've been calling it a phase that'll eventually pass, would it really? Is it really just a phase then? Or has it just become a part of me?

The answer? Who knows?

My point? Take control. Decide. Implement.

How much control? “Miana Rawi” Middle way! Always take the middle way. What's the good of being a control freak? What's the fun when you can control every breath you take and the reason why you're taking it? Why control emotions to so much extent that they just become a feeling and nothing more? I think anyone can come up with million reasons for why one SHOULD have control, so no point going there.

What's the fine line that divides assertive from dictatorial? Between confidence and arrogance? Between boldness and bluntness? Between straightforward and brutal?Would I go to the extent of imposing my will on someone else?

Would I like to be dictated by someone else? No.
Would I still do it? Probably.

Over confidence – My weakness and my strength. When I am over confident about something, I can actually see it happen. And once I can see something happen, feel it , I can make it a reality. On the other hand, it sometimes just kills me, I leave so many preparations that I would’ve done otherwise, overlook so many key points, and just be so sure of myself that I create a disaster. And the fact that this happens keeps me from being arrogant.. Because I know that though it can help me in making things happen, it can very well also jeopardize the situation too. So in a weird way, dangling between the two extremes, I have found a small yet significant – middle way.

"Wise is he who learns from the follies of others" The concept is not lost on me, yet my actions show otherwise.

Would putting your hand in fire burn?
Yes.
Have you ever been burnt?
Nope.
Will you still touch it?
Yes.
But it burns...!
I know but...ow! Yup, they've been right all along.

Stupidity on my part? More than you know. Can I change it? I guess not. It's too deep-rooted now.

Do I plan all my moves? No. Do I think about them? To the extent of over-thinking. Does it help? Usually never. I do the thinking for other people involved as well. About how will they perceive the thing, how will they react. Which leads me to assume a lot of stuff if it’s someone whose actions I can’t predict. Why do I need to think for others? Because people tend to keep things to themselves, and I hate not being prepared…

Why do I call my life monotonous? Do I go out? Yes. Do stuff outside house? Yes. Indulge myself in interesting things? Sometimes. I guess I characterize life to how it is at home because life in university is quite eventful. What have I done to change life at home? Nothing as such, but I have started to take up some projects, some things I like doing, maybe even love. Things that will require creativity, that will "keep me busy". Is it just another phase? Probably. "I get bored easily."

Yup, it all comes back to the point - Change.

However, I had this safety net. Change all that I might, I knew it'd stay there. By the end of the day, even on and off during the day - I'd come to it to feel comfortable, peaceful. I knew it, I loved it. It felt secure, dependable, constant, something that'll be there forever - all gone now. The aftermath? Chaos.

My optimistic approach to chaos? It's a CHANGE - a reason to start working, start kicking, put life back in order - taking control yet again. Do I feel any excitement? Any anxiety? There may be a mixture of the two.

On the other hand, the approach that should be avoided: "thun thun" - whining about it.

Traveling - I love traveling. Even though I have had very few opportunities to do so in the last five years, I know it's something I'll never pass on. Going somewhere new, exploring new things, finding new people always gives a sense of "Wow, eee" to me! I love it, even the stress of it.

Photography - definitely a phase, but I love it, and I want it to be one of those phases that go on forever and ever. Make it a part of me. I want to explore options. Am I good at it? Amateurish so far. But I have hope. I think I have the knack for it. Who knows? If telecom doesn’t pan out... :P

Telecom - what a rut. Yet every other person still tends to revert to it in the end – be it an electrical, mechanical or even a CIVIL engineer! Boon! Pbhhht! But I would still want to continue with it - technical or managerial, either way’s good. Then again, I am majoring in Telecommunications, so what else can be expected of me? (Plenty of things that I wouldn't discuss here :P)

I expect a lot from people, especially those who mean a lot to me. It's totally unintentional, but it's there. I have tried to change it a lot, but haven't been successful as yet. Expectations only lead to disappointments. Then again, it depends what kind of expectations you have - positive or negative. Sabz and I talked about that a lot too. Since positive expectations always led us to disappointments and since we couldn't STOP expecting, we decided we'd keep negative expectations instead. "Oh, this thing can never happen", "Oh, she'd never do this for me". It worked - when the thing didn't turn out the way we wanted it, we'd just say "Oh, we knew it'd happen." But in the long run, has it made me very…cynical?

I have always had this very bad habit of caring too much about what people think. I can't bear to imagine that I might be in someone's bad books, but then again I do know that I can't possibly impress the entire world population. That is never the goal. The goal is to either be in good books or in no book at all for the people who are around me. I will buy a present for someone I don't even LIKE, just so that he/she doesn't hold a negative image of me. Ugh, I hate this need for always having everyone's approval. Yet some parts of me contradict that entire behavior. I'll shout , I'll scream, I'll do all those things that people won't expect a normal girl to do - being extremely bold basically, without caring what people think of me…That is, as long as they keep their opinions to themselves. It's once they start spreading them that I start caring about what they think. It's super crazy I know. Haven't been able to find the balance between the two.

I am never worried about voicing my true opinions, though I do try to put myself in other people's shoes, so that I know how I'd feel if someone says something to me in front of others. But not too often, and I guess I tend to hurt a lot of people in the process of being blunt. So now if someone asks me what I think, I'll tell them without hesitating and will be as straightforward as possible. If they don't, I'll just keep my opinions to myself. Either don't say anything or say the truth. There's nothing worse than being a two faced person.

Time for a little *sar phooling*. I care for people a lot too! I let them unload their worries on me, whenever they want. I'll be their confidante, be their friend, whenever they need me to be. I might not even like the person, but the fact that they respected me enough to open up to me, gives me a reason enough to want to help them. I like the feeling that somebody can depend on me to be there for them whenever they need me to be. Though my frequent mood swings nowadays have created a big hurdle in that, I still try my level best to be a good friend. If I think I can make a difference in somebody's life, however little it maybe, I will go all out. Close friends say that I sometimes make other people's troubles my own. I do, sometimes, I guess. It irritates me as well, but as long as its something I like to do for my own sake too if not just theirs, I'll do it.

My point? This is how I am and I like it.

The End

*Click*

Dining-In

White house: Potatoes with a base of chicken, covered with white sauce.


Traditional, Strawberry-Banana Split with my favourite wafers and sauce! Banana's hidden under the icecream.

Delish!

Devouring

(8) Flames to dust, Lovers to friends,
why do all good things come to an end (8)

Lalalala lala lalaa

The Ant

Lesson in Biology:
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Arthropoda
Class: Insecta
Order: Hymenoptera
Suborder: Apocrita
Superfamily: Vespoidea

Roswell - New Mexico

Crash site - Area 51 !

Roly-Poly

1st Feb, 07 - Peshawar

Splash!

* Golden Jubliee Post *


Jan 28th, 07 - Trip to Attock

Faces of the Moon

Yes people! All the pictures of the Moon in this picture have been taken by meee! My first ever Lunar Eclipse! The first that I actually saw with my own two eyes :D. From the moment it was a big round ball, to the time when only its outline was visible. Heh, I was fascinated enough to watch the entire masking of the Moon, but not enough to watch the entire unveiling, so the last three pictures are the only ones I captured before I finally went to sleep :)

*Moment shared with B , through a phone conversation*